• My Diary,  You Can Do It!!

    I was speaking with a dying woman today…

    Did I grab your attention? If you don’t know, I’m currently employed in a call center 📞 for the real estate market. 🏘️ Practically I hit a milestone of 10 months as the customer care agent on the phone. But the call which I had today will be the one which I will probably remember a years after I don’t be in the customer care business anymore.

    I was calling one of the customers in order to find out the feedback for an offer which she received from a company. The woman on the line had a really kind voice. I already experienced many in this business and heard many things in my calls. Some I wish I didn’t hear. But no entry training for the position never prepared me for what I experienced today. 😮

    The woman told me she really likes the offer, but her situation changed drastically. She confided in me that 10 days ago doctors gave her a terrible diagnosis and she doesn’t know how much time she has and that it can happen any time. Her voice sounded young. I guess something around 40-45.

    Her voice was so bold. She told me she has a 23 years old daughter with a full disability pension and she was looking for a flat for her. But in these new conditions, it would be insane to ask a bank for a mortgage and she was apologizing for rejecting the offer. She was talking so reconciled. It was really hard to respond to that.

    Her story really hit me deeply and while still having her on the line, tears began to fall down my cheeks. I tried to swallow sobs so it wouldn’t be heard in the microphone. I admired so much that at this moment all she cares about is how life will look for her daughter.

    Except for other things I said to her: “You sound reconciled.” and she replied, “Of course, I’m not reconciled, I like life.” But for the whole 6 minutes and 40 seconds of what we were speaking, her voice was so bold, didn’t shake once, I felt incredible strength from her and I admired how strong she is.

    And I admired her level of selflessness the most. She said: “I’m a nurse, I know how it goes.” and I just heard in her voice how much she cares about her daughter and her family.

    Are you still there?” she asked me. “You’re quite quiet.”
    “Yes, yes, I’m. I’m just deeply touched by you. I’m sorry, it’s a little unprofessional. I admire you so much for how brave you are,” I replied.
    “Thank you. Maybe a miracle will happen and I will live,” she said and I agreed to her “Yes, let’s pray for a miracle together.”

    I was already talking about this subject basically one month ago in one of my previous posts starting with a question “What if the car would hit you deathly tomorrow? Will you be dying with memories or with dreams?” But today’s call was a WAKE-UP CALL for me. Literally. Now I realize so much stronger, what I was talking about. I was really overwhelmed by really strong emotions after this call and I cried like crazy. A few crucial things shifted for me after this call.

    At the point where I’m standing right now, I don’t believe that this call was a coincidence. I’m not the only operator in the office. Anybody from my colleagues could get this specific customer. But she ended up on my list and she had this call with me. And it may sound crazy, I’m still overwhelmed by really strong emotions while typing this, but I think I needed this call.

    It may sound crazy, but it was a confirmation for me that I’m on the right track. That the big choices which I’m thinking about are the right moves for me. That I really need a change. That the decision that I want to live my life quite differently than I’m currently living is the right decision. That if this would happen to me, I don’t want to have regrets that I spent all my lifetime in the office. It’s a green light for new adventures.

  • My Diary

    Hello from Turkey, Merhaba!

    Hello everyone! How are you? So I was quite quiet for some time. I know. So a few things changed for me. Totally for better! I quit my job. Basically I didn’t, I just internally suffered and waited till the end of my contract and didn’t sign a new one. Soooooooooooooo goooooooood decision. I spent even more time in that job then I should. It was affecting me drastically. My mood and energy were always low and I felt angry all the time. It was time to quit even sooner, but… money… you know… I needed to save some. So the last two months there were real suffering for me. I knew I want to quit, but I had to continue for a couple more weeks.

    Leaving Greece was quite dramatic. Firstly, I had a real issue with my employer to convince them to take their property back (working computer, headphones, mouse, …). It was a real pain in the @ss and I cannot start explaining and sharing the whole story about it because I would get super FURIOUS again. Now it will be just a bad memory and it will stay that way. Secondly, my flight was canceled three times. The original date of my departure was planned for August 1, I called to call center of Turkish Airlines three times. In the end, I had to purchase tickets from different companies and take a super unexpected route. I had to fly from Athens, Greece to Frankfurt, Germany with Aegean Airlines and from there with Sun Express to İzmir, Turkey. I left my greek home (understand house) at morning 5:20 and I was standing in front of İzmir Adnan Menderes Airport at 19:20 with my luggage (don’t even want me to start about luggage!) where my boyfriend picked me up. Whole-time with a facemask on my face without even a one-minute break. Exhausting. Really exhausting.

    So I arrived at my final destination 3 days later than was planned. But I am totally grateful that I was able to get here in the first place somehow! Even if this “sightseeing trip” wasn’t exactly cheap. But don’t get me WRONG, please! This is not a f*@king vacation (kind of it is but in a different way)! I definitely don’t support irresponsible traveling just for a “vacation” reason. Take a damn vacation in your own country. The only reason why I am now in Turkey is that my boyfriend lives here. And now I live here with him. Temporary. This is my home now. Temporary (Legal stay, long-distance relationship issues). And today’s it’s our 13 months anniversary 😍😍😍

  • My Diary

    Hello June!

    Somehow I can’t realize how it’s possible that we are already stepping in month number 6 in the year 2020. Hopefully, June will be evolving itself into better tomorrows and this pandemic situation will start becoming better and better and the world will have a chance to start returning to normal again. As normal as possible, as we knew it before. Yep, I am talking mainly about traveling. I am specifically interested in this subject, especially because now with the current travel ban I and my boyfriend are separated in other countries from each other with the official government’s approval that we are not able to see each other now. And it’s already a freaking long time. So I hope our two countries will open each other as soon as possible so we can finally spend some face-time without a screen between us. So Hello June! I really hope better tomorrows are on the way!

    Probably it’s a good sign that this month begins with The Children’s Day. I would like to make a little stop here. Do you have children? Are you celebrating today’s day in your country? In your city? Some interesting traditions to share? Leave a comment below! I feel there is a social pressure around this topic. Society lined up the “right” timelines for us and there is really pressure especially for young women who are getting close to 30. I will be 28 this year. And I don’t have any thoughts about ticking clock and blah blah blah. I hope this is not controversial… but. I have girl-classmates from college who now have kids in kindergarten. Daaamn, I have even girl-classmates from primary school who have now their own kids in primary school.

    But if 80% or more of your peers have their own kids it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should already have your own kid now also. I am mainly speaking to girls now. If you are 28, 29, 30, whatever age – it’s not your obligation to have a kid before 30! It’s not your obligation to have a kid at all if we speak about it.. I mean, f#@k society expectations, f#@k stereotypes about what is “right” at a certain age. It’s your body and your mind it’s your decision if you’re not ready for parenting life yet, it’s okay!!! It’s 100% okay!!! We all have our own timelines and nobody, NOBODY, should start stressing about this just because society it’s expecting this from us. Nothing is wrong with you if you still have other interests and other priorities now than is starting your own family. It’s okay to have your own timeline and it’s okay to start thinking about it when you will start to feel ready for it. If you’re not ready don’t let anybody suggest to you those thoughts like there is probably something wrong with you because you’re still single and without kids. There’s nothing wrong with you!!

    I am surprised how this post turned out. I didn’t expect from myself or planned to talk about this. But when I mentioned Children’s Day it was somehow convenient and it came naturally to me. What do you think about this? Share your opinions with me in the comments.

  • My Diary

    It’s been a while… I was thinking about…

    Do you know that feeling when you feel just unhappy in your city and the environment around you? After I came back from the USA I decided to move to Prague, because Brno (where I lived 5 years before I went to the USA) suddenly felt so so so so soooo small with comparing to Manhattan. I found a good flat just for myself which was huuuuuugee step for me because for the first time in my life I finally lived without roommates! That was a good part. But I still couldn’t get used to Prague somehow. It’s our capital and it feels like a village to me! Sorry, people and fans of Prague… not for me…

    I was stuck there for almost two years and I really wasn’t extra happy there, so I started to think about going abroad again. This time somewhere in Europe in case if things would screw up quickly again like did the last time.  So that’s how happened that today it is exactly 5 months what I am living in Athens, Greece. It was kind of very quick and sort of random decision and it actually happened very quickly. Before I went to the USA it took me eight months from decision to a point when I sit in the plane. This time it took three weeks. And it was a good decision. Even if I missed a Christmas mood and Christmas atmosphere in the Czechia, I really didn’t miss the snow, slush, and the Czech version of winter. I mean Greek winter also wasn’t the best and I am 100% decided that I will not repeat this experience again, but measured in degrees it was definitely better.

    I was really excited to spend a summer here, I had in plan to visit the islands where Mamma Mia! was shoot, but now in this current pandemic situation hard to say how will the summer plans of all of us look like. But I am glad I am spending this time in my flat in Athens and not in a flat in Prague. I have a great room here, it’s so much smaller then I had in Prague, but I have a lot of daylight come in which is perfect for drawing. Yes, I still draw. Even if not so often how I would wish. It’s still on my resolutions list. I am still working. It makes me wonder if I should consider myself “happy” or “unhappy” for that. I am jealous of people who are complaining online how bored are they are during this quarantine and lockdown time. I don’t have a time to get bored. I am “lucky” that I still have my full salary, but I am still trading forty hours per week of my time which makes me “unlucky”.

    I still believe that there has to be a better way how to make money. This lockdown helped me to realize that probably maybe from one trap I went into another again. It made me realize how I really don’t miss going into an open-space office every day five times of the week. It helped me to realize that this really isn’t something that I am able to handle to do the whole year. (Thank god, I didn’t sign up for the whole year, just a couple months.) I mean I would be perfectly able to handle that if I would want, but that would make me miserable again. Now I am sure I will work here another three months for sure and currently I am thinking if I should or I shouldn’t prolong my contract. It wouldn’t actually hurt me to save a little bit more money before I will go to write the next chapter a go-ahead to a new adventure.  But it’s actually hurting me how exhausting this job can be. Again. Do you know how that feels?